Ode on the Death of a Favorite Cat

Yarrr.

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 05:11:24 GMT

I be deeply offended that the piratical language settin' on Facebook don't let it be so that girls can be Capt'ns, too.
Always a first mate, never t'other way.
Yarrrr.

Bitch, I AIN'T Cho Chang!

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 18:43:07 GMT

How I am spending my day today:

Pepper jack cheese on whole-wheat bread.

A Very Potter Musical (I'm starting act 2 as I speak).

Singing "Taylor, the Latte Boy". No reason in particular.

Making more collage pieces.

Maybe some drawing; right now, I'm having too much fun burning and ripping shit up and calling it "art".

Possibly jumping-rope, though it's hot right now, so I'm content stuffing my face and doing the aforementioned.

Texty-textity-texting.

Reading more of Candy Girl. Very funny, so far.

Calling mother about the dresses and the shoe money and the bonds (whoo-hoo....)

Figure out what-the-Franz-Ferdinand to do with this wooden pagoda-y thing I've acquired.

Writing a better thing than this piece-o-piddle.

Daydreaming. So-to-speak. Le sigh.

It's...actually, kind of a lot of business going on for someone who has no life. Good girl.

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 21:25:55 GMT

Noise.
Wherever I go, there is always noise.
Down the street, construction; outside my door, children screaming and hitting and laughing, and parents who bustle around the kitchen with nothing better to do than clunk dishes back and forth. My father plays his guitar feebly, never an entire song, but a string of chords ranging from the Beetles to Bob Dylan. Street sounds and cars and crowds in the city. Voices in my head, my heart, that distract and chant and roar, making it impossible to focus on a single thing or person. I am never present; I am never in silence. There is always a noise.
It's enough to drive a person crazy.
See, I try to stifle the sounds, drown 'em out, but it's really difficult. The noises inside of me are the worst. I'll be lying in bed and trying my damnedest to be silent, just for a little while, enjoy my own company. But then I hear sounds like,
"You're alone. Aren't you miserable being alone? You should be, because you always are. Alone,"
or,
"Why are you lying down? You ought to be doing some exercise. You're going to put all that weight you lost back; see? You already have. Look at your legs,"
or,
"You're going to fail. Fail at school, fail at life, fail in this relationship, fail with your friends. You're a failure. It's your own fault for thinking you were good enough."
Or things along those lines.
And, the worst part is, I'll add my own voice to the noise, agree with them, and spiral further down into this veil of shame and tears and anger that I'm allowing myself to feed into. Some nights, I stare at myself in the mirror, pick out flaws, and get so angry, I start to shake.
It's bullshit, and I know this. Most of the noise, even that of my environment, is made up or amplified by the crazy noises in my head.
It's tough to shut up a voice that you've thought for so long to be your own. I mean, I know it's not. My former therapist never gave me any tools to work on it, unfortunately, or any hints as to where it's coming from, so I feel a bit like I'm in the rain without an umbrella. But then, maybe this is a problem I need to fix all by myself. I mean, I've been able to shut it up before, silence the crazy and be present in the moment and just let myself be. There's this void right now that is sucking me down, that I keep treating like a gaping wound of sorts, and I don't know what to do with it. I recently read that may well be a window or a creative pause that is probably well-needed; who knows, maybe I DO need a lot of time by myself before school, to think about things. To get involved with another person and learn how to let myself enjoy it without letting it become my life. To work on my fears and build myself up. To prepare. Plot. Create.
Hell, if you look at something that way, it could never look bad. It's barely a void anymore; it's a blank, mental canvas.
One thing is certain:
I have GOT to stop agreeing with it. The noise, that is.
That's part of why I'm writing right now. Moments before I sat down to type, I was in the middle of a miniature panic attack, deeply rooted in this "void" concept. I started hearing the noise in my head, which made the noises around me seemingly raise their decibel level 3-fold. But, unlike previous occasions, when I started digging this so-called grave for myself, I got up, took a breath, and thought, "What can I do with this energy?" Thus resulting in me sitting down to write, one of several, reliable vents that I've used in the past.
And it worked, it seems. I write this, and I think about what I'm really lucky to have, at this moment, because I can see clearly and more easily let go when I spend that energy dwelling positive things. And, lo and behold, I have a LOT to be grateful for. A lot. Enough to make me smile like I haven't all day.
Living, laughing, loving; yeah, they're antique and vague, if not corny as hell, but they're all things that add up to something wonderful, like a tune in my brain that's stuck there and hard to ignore: I have a life. A good one, if not sometimes a bit of a power-struggle between two parts of me. But it's a life, and it's mine to explore and fix and learn how to turn the noises into song. I can handle it, even if I don't think so sometimes.

It's quiet now.
There's still guitar, there're still clankey dishes, there's still the clash of construction on concrete.
But in my head, there's quiet, and I'm pleased to meet it.

I like the silence.

EDIT: Also, I'm looking forward to new things approaching, like the Autumn, for example. REALLY, really do I want it to be the Fall.

Birthday

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sun, 10 May 2009 06:38:25 GMT

Just thought I'd drop a quick note to say that I am, at 2:05 in the morning, officially 19 years old.

More importantly, as of tomorrow afternoon, I have been blood-brothers two fellow theater nymphs, a fool and a candlestick, for exactly four years.

Time flies, no?

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 17:23:46 GMT

You said bluntness turns you on, so...

I think I love you. Even if you are eight years my senior, drink as much as I do, are balding, and are thousands of miles away from me most of the time.
You're the most loving person I've ever been with, and I've never been happier with anyone else.
End of story.

Too bad I'm not brave enough to say this to you.

I have to see this.

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 01:53:03 GMT

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=41745836033

I watched this and started to tear up. I'unno, maybe it's just me, but damn. She hits my heart with this.

Let's see if this helps...

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:57:51 GMT

Part of my problem is that I can't come up with an idea to write about.

So, let's try this.

Comment on this journal entry with a story promp. Any kind of promp. Just a basic outline or character or event or even just an idea. I'll pick one and I'll try and write a story from that.

Okay? Okay.

(Ten bucks says I still can't write anything).

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:25:30 GMT

I voted for the first time today.
For Obama.

:D

IT'S A MEDICAL REASON. STFU.

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:35:00 GMT

Number one reason I hate the summer:

"Fran, you should go to the tanner."
"Geez, Fran, let the light of day hit your legs."
"Fran, don't you ever wish you were darker?"
"How come you're so pale, Fran?"

*grumble*

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:30:19 GMT

Half of me is really, really glad about how things are going.
And the other half is scared witless.

I'm both in complete sync with my emotions and intolerant of touchy-feely crap.

I dislike my mother, too.
And I'm going to be back and forth between here and Chi-town all over the place. Geez.

I wish I could go to Sweeney rehearsal tomorrow, but I have a 9 hour day with Fame. Whee.

Ja Ne

And on a maybe more important note...

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:40:19 GMT

The video for Weezer's new song, "Pork and Beans", is fabulous.
I absolutely adore it.

Just thought I'd recommend it to you.

One small step for Fran...

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 01:29:41 GMT

I'm moving to Chicago at the end of August.
Maybe sooner.

Originally, I was sticking behind to do Sweeney until December. While I may still be able to do Sweeney due to my having to go back and forth between the states (and we'll have lots of downtime, hopefully, since the music's all learned), I can no longer stay here. My depression is just digging a deeper hole for me to fall into, and I've tried and failed to reach out to my mother about help (but I have a healthy-ish appetite, so at least there's no bad eating habits). I also can't stay here financially, as my parents refuse to put me on their insurance coverage so that I can't get a license and use their shitty car. I'm deeply unhappy in everything and I'm not able to pull myself up from that. Threats almost every day don't help, either.

So, I am leaving. For good. Back and forth for a few months, but I'm not going to live here anymore.

And, in all honesty, even though there's still a chance I might have to give up Sweeney,
I'm pleased as punch.

Ja Ne

Well...

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 06:05:17 GMT

...I'm a graduate.

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sun, 18 May 2008 04:13:05 GMT

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved--loved for ourselves, or rather, in spite of ourselves"
~Victor Hugo

IIIIIIIIIIT'S showtime!

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:01:40 GMT

Next week. Here's the poster info (I drew the logo, btw ^-^):

April 17, 18, and 19 at 7:00 PM
April 20 at 3:00 PM
GLHS Auditorium
All tickets $5.00
Call (517)522-5695
Or my house for info at (517)522-4524

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:26:47 GMT

My soul hurts a little today.

It's another Meme, kids!

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:20:27 GMT

(Stolen from Miss Chelsea)

Q.
Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
A. My neck. Or under my chin.
;D

Q.
Were you happy when you woke up today?
A. Not really. I was irritated and unhappy with someone. I feel better now that I got out to the city and have had coffee.

Q.
How about now?
A. Still irked. Not really in a bad mood, but not a good mood, either. I'm kind of numbing out, but at the same time, being really thoughtful.

Q.
Do you eat candy on a daily basis?
A. Depends. I usually have a dessert a day, though.

Q.
Who was the last person you ate with?
A. Dad and Kerry.

Q.
Are you currently taking a science class in school?
A. If Advanced Biology/Anatomy counts, which it should.

Q.
Kiss on the first date?
A. Oh, God. I'd like to say no, but I'd be such a hypocrite if I did. Honestly, if the chemistry's there, go for it. Even if it's not the best idea. lol.

Q.
Would you rather have chicken or steak?
A. Chicken. It's lighter and better for you.

Q.
What were you doing at 10 am?
A. Talking to like six different people on AIM about how freaking awesome "The Drowsy Chaperone" was and being really, really, REALLY hyper (I couldn't fall asleep until 4 in the morning).

Q.
Are you different now than you were six months ago?
A. That's a complicated thing to answer. I'd say yes, but not in a positive way, for a lot of reasons. I mean, I had been doing pretty lousy prior to six months ago, but that was just about the time when everything was starting to take a tailspin into the second circle of hell.

Q.
What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
A. Coffee. That's all I drink anymore.

Q.
How old will you be in 11 months?
A. 18 years old.
Alright, 11 months from now, I'm gonna be smokin', buying porn, and going to strip clubs! Woo freaking hoo!

Q.
Who was the last person to text you?
A. No phone. But Charlotte was the last person to IM me, if that counts.

Q.
Can you live a day without TV?
A. TV is really a luxury for me, so missing a day is nothing. I go weeks without it (take this week, for example).

Q.
How many pets do you have?
A. Five--A tard, two gays (a femme and a butch), a fat piece of lard, and a gimp. Oh, six if you count Dusty.
;D

Q.
How many houses have you lived in?
A. Like six or seven, but only two actually permanent homes.

Q.
How many city/towns have you lived in?
A. Three: Chicago, Chelsea, and Grass Lake.

Q.
Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?
A. Cute shoes OR cute socks.
I like toe socks the best =^-^=

Q.
What is your favorite color?
A. I like all the colors, but I'm partial to earth tones and bright, neon shades.

Q.
What are you doing for your next birthday?
A.
Probably just gonna hang around with close friends, maybe go to the mall or see a movie**
**code word for strip club

Q.
What are you thinking about right now?
A.
A handful of things, but they all generate back to one thing: what does my existence on this planet really mean to me, and how can I make it so that I live life well?

Q.
Any plans for next weekend?
A. Next weekend, hopefully hanging out with friends. I don't get out enough.

Q.
Do you smile a lot?
A. Yes; deception is the best way to keep them guessing.

Q.
When was the last time you cried and why?
A. A few days ago, because I was questioning my life's worth.

Q.
Have you ever had a life-threatening injury?
A. Not yet.

Q.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Something that assures me that my life is not a waste of air and carbon.

Preferably some kind of performer or writer. Or designer.

Q.
Do you like flying or driving?
A. Neither.

Q.
Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
A. No. Someone tried to teach me once, but I never caught on.

Q.
What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
A. Clothes and fun crap I find in China Town.

Q.
Do you wear any jewelry daily?
A. lol Yeah. I can't get enough of costume jewelry.

Q.
Who got you the jewelry you are currently wearing?
A. My sister and my aunt.

Q.
Who is the funniest person you know?
A. Oh, man, all of my immediate close friends are all pretty damn funny. I have to be friends with funny people; otherwise, I have nothing to talk about with them.

Q.
How often do you remember your dreams?
A. Usually every night, or at least fragments of dreams.

Q.
What is your ringtone?
A. None.

But my AIM sound is a cow mooing.

:B

Q.
Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk?
A. 1%...
because I think I'm fat.

Though I could be drinking whole if I wanted to. (if you didn't get this, SHAME ON YOU.
)

Q.
Are you mad about anything?
A. Yes, and have been mad about it for those six months we just talked about (among other things that piss me off).

Q.
What time did you go to sleep last night?
A. About 4 here in Chicago, which is really 5 where I actually live. I couldn't sleep, I was too hyper.

Meme stolen from Charlotte

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:30:51 GMT

Dear Kitten.
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm selling myself. I think I realized it the first of May, outside of Chicago, and I saw you sit on Manchester United's goalkeeper. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your old lottery coupons to you, but I'll keep your neighbor Martin as a memory. You should also know that I always will try to forget my passionate interest in mice.
Go burn,
-Josie Posie Toes-

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your LJ).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'm joining the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Ashamewd
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Scarred

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:19:24 GMT

I want love.

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 23:36:39 GMT

You can breathe, but the air is running out.

The poetry entry

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:21:38 GMT

Under the cut are all my best poems. There are 22 in all, and they go in chronological order (as far as the year goes; I know that a few are flip-flopped and you'd prolly only notice if you knew the exact subject matter). The oldest are from 2006, and the last few are from the beginning of this year.
The reason I posted them was really so I could have them all together in one place where I could look at them easily and reflect on them. If you're curious, look at them. Just don't judge, that's all I'm asking. Feedback is welcome, though it's not really why I'm posting them on here. Enjoy.

Weaving a web of broken delight
The blue moon kept our secrets tight
Living in everlasting night
We fought a war within the dark
Warpaint smeared across your heart
Together we weathered a weary, black mark
A beating drum and distant cry
With bleeding souls, you and I
Reached in vain up to the sky
Music, when your soft voice dies
--------------------------------------------
Little bits of paper floating
Face up in the pond
Like crisp, white lily pads
They'll lay there,
Ink running in little black
Streams into water, until
A ripple comes and washes them clean
So that no one can tell what was written
Eventually,
They all float away
-------------------------
Rhymes, rhymes, rhymes.
What's the point of rhyming
If all it is is chiming
The same old echoes, climbing
Into your inner ear?
I don't like rhyming much, my dear.
-----------------------------------------------
There's no way
To describe this right
And it's starting to sink into me
A low kind of feeling
That rips a big hole
And grows with time
----------------------------
When you would play, I'd sing along
Long fingers on lily white keys
Dancing, ascending,
Rising and falling
With each chiming note, playing deep down
Into something
Only that gentle hand could touch and not
Be frightened by what it felt
Black and white flowers picked
One by one
And placed them in my hands.
A question with each chord
Plcuking the petals of your lovely bouquet
Love me, love me not?
The answer came
When you changed the key
-------------------------------------
Could it be?
well, no.
We were always taught
to turn away
Illusions
And live alone in the here
And now; well,
If I have only dreams
To keep me company,
then I think I'll sleep in today
--------------------------------------
I cause the world to crumble
See? Every step I take
Causes all the more damage.
Foot down, craglines
Under foundations and the mountains
Shaking fractures, breaks
Sends the rocks tumbling
And the ground beneath your feet
To fall away
Until all that stands is an ivory lighthouse
Amidst the rubble of the years.
------------------------------------------
Today I woke up
Alone, nothing new
I'd much rather open
My eyes and see you
----------------------------
If I close my eyes,
Will I see your soul,
Or will another ghost
Haunt me tonight?
-------------------------
A velvet-scented night--what a perfect time to fly!
Here, take my hand
We'll swim into the sky; don't be afraid
Even as the fireworks turn into stardust
And memories glow dim as embers,
I wo't let go.
Now a flame is rising fast
Can you feel it on your heels?
Embrace the warmth, but don't sink down;
Fires must soothe, not singe
So let's keep flying, keep fanning the flame
And, smiling, we'll float
By the light of a slow-burning love
----------------------------------------------
I woke up today
To the sound of my tears
Tapping on the window pane
Slow and steady with my heart
Another long storm that waits
For the calm
And blues the faces of
those who get caught in the rain
--------------------------------------------
I gave you strawberries
Bright, crimson, sweet
From my arms to yours
Bringing one up to your lips
You eat them quickly, like a child
Stopping,
Only once, to savor the taste
When you finished, only the stems remained
Which you promptly dropped to the dirt
----------------------------------------------------
I can see it
Can you see it, too?
A sky so dark, so blue
Let's fly into it, me and you
And together we'll be
Flying high, light and free
Until we're up too far to see
-------------------------------------
Pulled a knife from under my skirt
As I kissed your lips, it found a sheath
Warm and alive
With every beat, the heart that loved me
Trickled crimson
Into an awful halo 'round my feet
When your lips fell, I held you,
Child-like in my arms
Forever united and forever gone
the same blade piercing
My own rosey veneer
----------------------------
Brass petals raining down from heaven in waves
Plucked from an everlasting stem,
Make symphonies soft and delicate
That glow around the green
-------------------------------------
Just a bit longer; then I swear,
I'm done for good!
Swear to God, to you,
I'm done with it, really!
It's not like I'll die (reflections don't kill)
I need it right now; the stinging pain
You don't feel it after a while
Becomes a part of your life, your brain
To hell with people
People lie
It's who I am and what I am and what I will become
But if you really want,
I'll stop
I mean it this time
I'll stop
Maybe tomorrow--maybe
But just a little longer
Then, I swear, I'm done.
--------------------------------
Looks at you with
Those glassy eyes gleaming
The rosy mouth parts
And you feel that arrow stirring
But the look is empty
From those pretty lips, lies
Yet you still get that sting-she's there
Only for you
Haunts you like an alabaster wraithe
Your pierced heart throbs and wishes for her,
Prays. The ghost, lying in wait.
Still, nothing moves her, a cold tower
Frozen with pride
Then, one day
She approaches you
Smiling, flashing a row of white ice
You shudder as your arrow-heart reels
A cool hand glides down your face
To your chest
To the arrow
So close to you, so close,
And in one loving move
She rips it clean out, the dainty hand dripping
Hums a happy tune
While you lie in a puddle of your own waisted faith
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Frost upon my lips
A bitter recollection
Of those soft petals
Yet, come the springtime
the ice cracks and melts away
And soon new roses bloom
--------------------------------------
It stalks the hallways
Cold and black
Slinking through the shadows
Unsuspecting pray stands idle
As it feeds
Sucks you dry, and you go numb
Pretty, smiling
Leaving you deaf to its shallow growls
----------------------------------------------------
Is there a life here,
Or just an empty
Shell?
Walking, breathing
Never thinking
Hearing what it wants to hear
----------------------------------------
I look at the conchshell
And it looks at me
Swirling musty pink with time
Remembering when it sat at the bottom
Of a great, vast sea,
Lonely and unoccupied
Swept up by the incoming current
Tossed and turned
In the warm ocean waves
Unwilling and ready and patient
Dirt and sand polished away
It remembers the tide
Pulling forward, pushing fast and slow and salty
Placing it pink and naked
On the cool, soft sand
Where it sat, helpless and half-buried
A few picked it up without reason
And the water would rush in and reclaim it
The shell didn't choose
It just wanted to move, and it's long life
Was spent, nearly rubbed raw to the core.
'Til I saw it poking
From a white little mound--I put it to my ear
And it sang to me music, a song
Too familiar to bear
I put it in my basket, no question in my mind,
And the shell gladly came along with me
For conch shells know that they're ment
To move with each new tide
--------------------------------------
Red leaves covered the earth
As orange bled into the sky
Yellow skin and teeth would lie
With me on the greenest grass
Staring into an endless blue void
Our breath would burn bright indigo
When cold air met the warmth
But when a violet storm approached,
You left me under the arch

The great Ouija Board debate.

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 02:20:50 GMT

Ouija Boards: bogus game or credible link to the other side?

Out of recent experiences, I am curious to know what you all think.

Ja Ne

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:40:59 GMT

Life is delicious.

Waffles! Tasty waffles! With lots of syrup!

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 18:14:36 GMT

I'm gonna be a famous artist some day!

psychedelic_hamster_meat@yahoo.com — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:48:59 GMT

I am your worst nightmare, Braxton!
I am... (takes off plumed hat to reveal a cascade of curls)...YOUR FATHER!

...Wait, that's not the line...